This is going to be my summer job:
I get to hang out with this sweet girl 7 hours a day, 5 days a week!
:)
June 15, 2010
The Center
I'm really trying to allow God to use me because I truly do feel different when I allow him to be the center of my thoughts. I feel like it incites a different attitude and mentality in me and I love it when he is the one seen and I am just in the background. When I feel distant from him, I get frustrated and wonder why and how I let myself get so "off". But he keeps proving to me that he will use me, even when I don't fully feel it or have any confidence in myself and my relationship with him.
I think that's the key though, isn't it?
It's not about me.
It's about Him.
It's not about my confidence or lack thereof.
It's about his strength and his willingness to use me.
It's not about my doubt, confusion or limited vision.
It's about his power, his control, his omniscience.
It's not about my failure, missed opportunities or sin.
It's about his victories, his unconditional love and his grace.
I too often forget that.
Such is the way of humanity I suppose.
But I also suspect that any attempt I make, however small, to allow my mind to think of him as the leader and essence of all I do, and to allow my heart to crave his presence in all things, will be fully worthwhile. Even if it creates an almost insignificant change or barely noticeable difference, it is so worth the effort. Because, from what I've learned about how God works, the seemingly insignificant changes are significant in our hindsight but fully known and planned by him. And the barely noticeable differences may be so to us, but may be immeasurable differences to others. Ha, once again, me, myself and I, are not the subjects of God's workings.
It reminds me of Jer. 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." But I think it's also true that sometimes it doesn't feel wholehearted, but even a half-hearted and ingenuine attempt to seek him is better than letting him remain hidden. Because I don't know about you, but I want God to be visible in my life. And if he chooses to use me as a means of making himself seen in the world, I can see no greater purpose for my life! I really don't mind being in the background of things when it comes to Him.
I think that's the key though, isn't it?
It's not about me.
It's about Him.
It's not about my confidence or lack thereof.
It's about his strength and his willingness to use me.
It's not about my doubt, confusion or limited vision.
It's about his power, his control, his omniscience.
It's not about my failure, missed opportunities or sin.
It's about his victories, his unconditional love and his grace.
I too often forget that.
Such is the way of humanity I suppose.
But I also suspect that any attempt I make, however small, to allow my mind to think of him as the leader and essence of all I do, and to allow my heart to crave his presence in all things, will be fully worthwhile. Even if it creates an almost insignificant change or barely noticeable difference, it is so worth the effort. Because, from what I've learned about how God works, the seemingly insignificant changes are significant in our hindsight but fully known and planned by him. And the barely noticeable differences may be so to us, but may be immeasurable differences to others. Ha, once again, me, myself and I, are not the subjects of God's workings.
It reminds me of Jer. 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." But I think it's also true that sometimes it doesn't feel wholehearted, but even a half-hearted and ingenuine attempt to seek him is better than letting him remain hidden. Because I don't know about you, but I want God to be visible in my life. And if he chooses to use me as a means of making himself seen in the world, I can see no greater purpose for my life! I really don't mind being in the background of things when it comes to Him.
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