God completely opened my eyes through some intensive prayer a month or two ago.
It isn’t until now that I decided to share it.
“My life testimony is my theology. Theology is faith seeking understanding. This is in the sense of seeking to understand the One who in fact brings understanding. Therefore, my life testimony is not about me, it is about God. He is the subject in the narrative of my life. It is His working within me and through me that allows me to even incorporate myself into the story at all.
God works on a richer and deeper realm, far beyond anything we can comprehend. The world we live in is as a pencil sketch of the Reality beyond things temporal. The Divine Reality, the Kingdom of God, is so much more than we can even attempt to see. Things of this temporal world are only insufficient glimpses of the bigger, Real picture. How then, can we try to be so in control of our lives, when in fact all that we know accounts for little to nothing in the vast scheme of all Reality?
God created our bodies as pure and glorious gifts, as physical manifestations of human life. Our physicality is a comprehendible and tangible expression of the life God bestows us. Without the physical, how can humanity, in all its limited understanding, even begin to conceive things beyond the tangible? If we have no concrete, how can we look for the abstract? Without corporeal, there could not be a desire for the greater, deeper, more Spiritual realm of existence. Without the ability to see and touch and perceive physical creation and the bodily representation of life, how can the imprudent and inferior human mind be able to comprehend a Spiritual life such as the Divine Reality of the Kingdom of God!?
My Flesh is not an excuse or a scapegoat for my sin. It is a part of me- a part of my humanness. It is my sin. Sin is a part of me. Sin is birthed where there is an absence of God. It is tragic. It is inexcusable. Yet, praise to God, not unforgivable.
Flesh has a connotation of tangibility and physicality. It is earthly and temporal. It will be eradicated in the spectrum of Eternity. Why do I invest so much into the worry about my physical body? My worry about my body, feeds the sin of my Flesh. I have physical and tangible flesh, but I also have my sinning Flesh. Both will perish. Yet they are different. My physical flesh was created as a glorious gift, but it is only a physical manifestation of human life. It is of no significance beyond the temporal realm where our life exists as spirit. From the moment Eve took the fruit from the Serpent, deception was birthed into creation. Life became defined by the world’s critical eye. Sin became present. This is where Sinful Flesh differs from our once glorious physical flesh. Sinful Flesh is of upmost importance in the Divine realm. It is this sinfulness that separates me from God. I should be invested in eradicating my Flesh, not feeding it by worrying about my completely transient physical body (flesh).
If my Flesh is sinful, tragic, and completely temporal, then why do I allow it to overpower the Spirit within me? For in fact, where the Flesh is, the Spirit cannot be. How many parts within me are occupied by the desires of my Flesh and not the Power of the Spirit!? The only way to relinquish these pieces to the Spirit is complete and utter humility, disgust for my tragic Flesh, and the Power of God to overcome and occupy every ounce of my Being. To allow the Flesh to be my focus is not only against the entirety of God, but it is completely in vain- the Power of God is immeasurably stronger in true Reality!
What I love about myself is God within me. My human Flesh is utterly atrocious. It is vile and appalling. But because of God’s grace, I have His Spirit within me as well, and it is the Spirit that I adore and desire. It is my sinful Flesh that I hate. There is no way I can love myself if I allow my Flesh to win; There is no way I can love God if I allow sin to encapsulate my actions. I learn to love God because of His Spirit working in, through, and around me. As I fall more and more in love with Him, I will learn to love myself more and more because of His Spirit within me.
If my life narrative, if my testimony, is truly about God, and He is the Real, Only, and Ultimate Victor, then how can I be so selfish, sinful, and deceived as to allow my corrupt Flesh to infest parts of my Being!? I cannot eradicate it fully in this temporal earth, for being human is to sin, but I can seek with all the strength in me, through the Power and Grace of God, to defeat it’s grasp. As long as the Spirit is at the center work within me, the Flesh cannot get a full grasp.
Then, when I arrive at Eternity’s shore, how glorious and indescribable will it be when I am completely emptied of all sin, my Flesh is destroyed, and God can fully and completely swarm into my Being and fill me to overflowing! How much love will be given, received, and radiated! To stand in the Presence of the One who is my life and fully engulfs my spirit in union with His- will I be able to comprehend such inexorable love!? Will I even be able to stand at the sheer weight of Glory that will be bestowed upon me? I do not think I could even live through the immensity of such a climactic event! And yet we are granted to live for Eternity. This climax will be the culmination of all that is my life and it will never cease! The God who is the subject, center, and truly everything, will finally bring my Being to be as One with Him! We will be completely overcome in everlasting unity with the God of all Truth, all love, all things eternal, and all things beyond human comprehension!”
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